Don’t expect easy

“Do you wish to leave me, too?”

This is the most heartbreaking question Jesus asked (see John 6:67). He had just talked about bread and his body, breaking it, eating it, making a point not many were ready to hear, and he knew it. He said it anyway, and he watched many walk away.

They were gonna walk away anyway. These were the ones in it just for the ride, for making the religious leaders squirm, for an easy, n0-confrontation-with-self kind of thing.

God permits this, I think, this staying at the perimeter, this confession of being a follower, a believer, but without the willingness to come any closer. Myriads do this. I think it makes God sad because there’s so much more God can do in us and we can do in cooperation with God. But it does include some housecleaning. God is going to “say” some things we don’t want to hear, things like “Why are you angry?” “Do you want to be healed?” And even, “Do you want to find me?”

Following God isn’t for the faint of heart. God will ask us to face ourselves and what keeps us from growing. If we have the courage to do so, along the way, we’ll get glimpses of what it means to know God, to remain open to God. Those glimpses have an altogether overwhelming attraction, as if what exists over there with God could satisfy every desire in the human heart.

Reflection

Just how challenged do you expect your belief in God to make you?

Prayer

Dear God, if I don’t find you challenging, there’s something wrong isn’t there? I don’t want to leave you or the idea of you. I want answers to why I’m suffering, why others are suffering, why the world is the way it is. I want to know you have those answers. I don’t want to stay stuck in my mistrust or anger with you. I want to find you. Amen.