God isn’t above it

The first thing that happens — when we bring our suffering and the questions, doubts, and anger attached to it to Calvary — is we’re silenced. We know Jesus died here. We know how he died. We know the torture that proceeded it. These truths hang heavy in the air. Our sufferings slip through our fingers and hit the ground with a thud, but not because our sufferings are less or more. Jesus isn’t playing a game of one-upmanship. No, it’s that our silence brings us into contact with a truth so real, so profound, so intense, we are waylaid.

God hurts too. Sin hurts God just as much as it hurts us. God isn’t above it. Jesus was scalded by it. And, standing here, we realize, too, how our questions are missing the point — why did God make the world like this? If God were God, people wouldn’t suffer, children wouldn’t suffer! God isn’t real… These are sending us in the wrong direction. They are distractions.

Here is where the rubber meets the road. We can either continue to live with our veritable arms stretched out (the natural consequence of our questions and angst), keeping God and what it really means to be in relationship with God at a safe distance. Or we can drop that arm and dare to inch a bit closer.

Reflection

What are we really trying to do when we drag out these questions, this angst, this anger?

Prayer

Okay, God. I’m here and I have my questions and my hurts with me. Yes, I know Jesus suffered too. Yes, I know sin abounds, and we’re at fault for it! Yes, I know, my own sin contributes. But there’s something wrong with this paradigm, isn’t there? Maybe it fit a long time ago, but it doesn’t seem to fit now. It just leaves me feeling helpless, hopeless, and mad. There’s more to it than this, yes?