A rugged faith

Why do we ask for signs?

I’ve asked for them when I wasn’t sure if I could trust what my mind or heart was telling me. I’ve asked for them when I wasn’t sure which path to take.

God has given me some of those signs, but others They have not. Why? Why consent to give some signs and refuse to give them in other circumstances? Is God fickle or might the circumstances matter?

It’s not my level of agony that determines a given sign. I’ve been in deep suffering when a sign came, and I’ve been in deep suffering when it didn’t come. As I reflect on the circumstances surrounding each request, I’m struck by one thing: the evidence that was already at my feet. When the sign came, I had nothing. I was stripped bare. When the sign didn’t come, I was knee-deep in “other signs.” Call them circumstantial. Call them indirect. Call them whatever you want, but they were plentiful. Why was I not “reading” them, taking them for what they signified?

Sometimes God says no to signs. I think They do so because our faith remains weak, childish, and lame if we look for signs more than we take time to develop a rugged belief in the One who has given us so much, if we bother to take stock.

Reflection

What has worked out in your life? What blessings have come from hardships? What in your life have you seen God do? What do you know of God?

Prayer

I know I throw doubt at you, God. You hear all the naysayers! And you didn’t answer me the way I needed quite a bit!

I can either accuse you of lording your high-and-mightiness over me, or I can give you the benefit of the doubt and realize you had good reason to not answer me in the way I wanted, even if it hurt me at the time. I can give you that. I can ask to see with greater wisdom. I do ask, Lord. Help me to see. Help me to build that rugged faith. Amen.