Deconstructing God
To come sit beneath the Juniper means we have become aware of a desire for God. But, there is much that fights against this desire, yes? Well, perhaps this fight against can ease somewhat if we allow a bit of deconstruction. What if what bugs you the most about God — the God we find in the public square — just isn’t quite true? What if the God your heart longs for matches up quite nicely with the God who is?
The God I came to know within my suffering conflicted in many ways with the God I met in Church and in my daily life. Doubting my own experience, I tried to put on the God I found out there. I tried to put on creeds, rules, bible interpretations. What I lost was peace. I lost my way. Resentment grew within me, and eventually I not only wanted to throw away the creeds, the rules, and the interpretations, I wanted to throw away God, too!
But then I realized the gift I had! It wasn’t my view of God that resided in my heart; it was God! And once I allowed this truth to be — and this was a process! — then I began to see how God moves within and among, above and below all the creeds, all the rules, all the interpretations, continuously prying our often white-knuckled fingers from the beliefs that just don’t match with who God really is. There are some who will allow God to do this within them, and there are some who just won’t.
It is my belief that God can use our suffering to help us with this process in a powerful way.
We are allowed to be open. We are allowed — and expected — to listen to that voice within. We can learn to listen. We can stay here beneath the Juniper, throwing question after question onto the table — just as long as we’re willing to remain until the answers come.
They will come.
Reflection
Is it scary to think of deconstructing the image of God that now dominates our public square? Why?
Who do you want God to be?
Prayer
Dear God, Psalm 32 says, “I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will give you counsel with my eye upon you.” Please guide me, Lord. You wade in the midst of all of our fears, our strident claims, even when we’re wrong. May I proceed gently in my pursuit of You. (And help me to believe in Your pursuit of me.)
