Don’t get lazy

Dear God, this is Kelley.

Look at it, God, my depression. It weighs. It voices dark words. It tells me You don’t exist, You don’t matter, You don’t care all that much. And that weight and that voice is pretty large. It takes up quite a bit of the landscape.

But it’s not all that’s here. You are here. How can it be that You don’t overpower all else? After all, You are God! How can it be that physical pain, emotional turmoil, and my stinking thinking outdo You?!

Obviously, there’s limitations in this life. And I believe there’s limitations in the next, too. But we can do something about them right now. We can work to lift that weight. We can work to make Your voice louder than the dark words. We can commit to this.

It doesn’t just happen. Grace works through nature, our nature, that slow, day-by-day, choice-driven vehicle we call our will. And here’s the good thing: Once we make the effort, once we gather our strength and choose to turn Your way, Your grace adds to our efforts. We give 10%. Your grace adds another 50%.

Reflection

What is your experience of sloughing off the weight of darkness and slipping successfully into God’s light?

Prayer

Dear God, this isn’t easy. Sure, I can feel good, see good, and experience lots of good, but that doesn’t last long. My disabilities crowd in. Other people’s disabilities crowd in. The world’s suffering crowds in. All these squeeze in between You and me, and I end up questioning, doubting, getting afraid — and forgetting that I have to keep making the choices, the effort to scoot right back to You. May I never get lazy in this regard. Amen.