It’s personal

Suffering clarifies like no other experience. It tells on us. It shows us who we are, what we’re made of. It shows us who’s around us and why. It knocks down all the “don’t matters” of the world. It leaves us before a mirror, with bright lights on.

Suffering is a force we struggle with, yes? I thought that because we do struggle with it. We fight it, punch it, resist it, scream at it. But we’re not really fighting with suffering, are we? Is it circumstance, chance, fate? If those, then how do we get hold? Where are the edges, the footholds? How do we fight that?

No, this must be personal. We clench our fists and go looking. And that’s when the footholds become clear, tangible, thick. You might say they even begin to glow. We rush forward, ready for battle! And suddenly, we find ourselves very much not alone, and the Other who is HERE, with us, catches us off guard. It is as if we went looking for one single star and stumbled into a clearing radiant with billions of them. We are waylaid, upended, stopped. We do not breathe. At once, we are aware. Aware of what? Our insignificance? If that were true, why is God so HERE?

Reflection

If suffering strips away all that does not matter, if it leaves us face to face with a Person, an Other (and it does, regardless of our perception), how will we, how do we proceed? Do we remain alert? Do we cultivate our hearing, our seeing in this new washed and clarified clearing? Or do we choose to focus only on the suffering?

Prayer

God, suffering strips us bare. You may not cause it, but you sure do allow it. Help me to not get caught up in that. That’s above my paygrade. What is here, right here, is this clearing, this ground I don’t want to be on. I’m here, and You’re here. Now what?