Sparring with God

Part of me knows God intimately, experiencing what Isaiah describes…

“… those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31).

But, part of me hides from God. This part dances around God as if in a boxing ring, gloves on, shoes worn thin, tears burning, anger ignited. This part insists God remain at a distance. I taunt Him. I dare Him. I question Him.

Yes, I am angry. I have suffered. I have been violated in countless ways, countless times. And there is no one to bring to justice. There is no one coming forward to admit what was done. There is no one offering an apology. I sit with a mound of wounds and their catastrophic consequences, consequences that reach far into my life, staining relationships, altering perceptions, greying enthusiasm, excitement, hope.

“… welcome the word that has been planted in you and has the power to save you.” James 1:21

I am tired of this duplicity, and so I sit under the Juniper. The prophet Elijah came here when he was spent — I imagine he, too, was a bit miffed at God. I sit here doing my best to urge this part of me to…

“… welcome the word that has been planted in you and has the power to save you.” (James 1:21)

This is my task, then, to welcome God within me. All that I need is within, already planted there by God in the way my being was formed, from the beginning. So too with you. On this first Monday in Advent, I invite you to take the Juniper Pact with me. Together we will face this God who allowed our suffering. Together we will question, accuse, throw rocks at times, yes. Together we will listen deeply, and we will commit ourselves to the work necessary to bring all of our parts into harmony.

We deserve to “soar with wings like eagles,” and God is inviting us to do just that.