What hurts

We should be happy once we get away from the abuse. We can “forgive and forget.” We don’t need to think about it, reflect on it, or question anything. We should “get over it.”

Except, we can’t. Humans don’t work that way. Abuse winds its nasty fingers around everything.

I would have much preferred to just ignore what happened to me. But I couldn’t. I was angry. I was afraid. I was paranoid for my children’s safety. I either had to face what happened and heal, or I was going to pour my anger, fear, and paranoia into everyone around me, including my children.

It isn’t God’s intent that we not think about it. In my experience, God will run straight at what hurts us! God will poke it and prod it, and why? Because it keeps us from being the persons God made us to be. God is whole (holy). He calls, expects, and empowers us to be whole (holy) too.

Reflection

What disabilities linger in you? What wounds cry out to be healed?

Prayer

Dear God, I don’t want to do this! I just want my memories and their effects to disappear. But I know better. I see how my thinking and behaving have been impacted by the abuse. I still have lies pushed deep within me — I’m not worthy; I’m selfish; I’m wrong. I see how these lies have hurt me. They are still hurting me. Help me to follow You. You can help me see and believe what’s true. Help me to join You in the work I need to do to heal. Amen.