We matter

Dear God, this is Kelley.

Chronic child abuse leaves us with many wounds. Adulthood doesn’t take these wounds away. One of these is an ingrained fear that we just don’t matter.

We may know your words…

“With age-old love I have loved you” (Jeremiah 31:3).

“See, upon the palms of my hands, I have written your name” (Isaiah 49:16).

We may know these, but they seem to just flow right around us. They don’t “land” because we haven’t done the work necessary to offer them a place to land.

I was angry, Lord, when I realized You weren’t going to heal my wounds automatically. That miracle wasn’t going to happen. Just as I walked out of the abuse over time, so my healing was going to mind time as well. And it was going to exact from me much effort.

Remind me, Lord, of all that happens within me when I have to try hard. Your grace mixes with my effort, and I grow in ways I don’t even realize! (Just because something takes time doesn’t mean it’s not a miracle!)

I do matter, and the more time I spend with You making the direct and deliberate effort to come to believe this fact, the easier it will be to walk away from the dysfunctional things I tend to do when I tell myself I don’t.

Reflection

In what ways does a fear of not mattering impact your life? What can you do to change this ingrained belief?

Prayer

Oh, God, thank You for seeing me! Thank You for telling me how much I matter. Help me to do the work necessary to make this truth an unquestioned part of me. When I doubt it, I become insecure, afraid, and needy. When I embrace it, I am capable of being the person You made me to be. Amen.