Calling God Father

Dear God, this is Kelley.

I’ve never called You Father. Of course, when I pray The Lord’s Prayer, I address you as Father, but I never choose that title on my own.

I’m ashamed with what I associate with Father. It brings up a great sorrow within me, as well as images of great distance. I think of condescension, self-centeredness, self-pity, and rage.

I don’t want to have this view of the term. I don’t even want to have this view of my own father. But it is there, and I do.

Is it best to just avoid this term altogether, or is there benefit in trying to change it?

I would like to call You Father. I would like to believe You see me as a Father should. I would like to believe You like me; You delight in me; You would do anything for me; You are happy when I come around.

Now, which of these do I struggle with believing? All of them.

I suppose this shouldn’t surprise me. I suppose this is something we need to work on, yes?

Reflection

What is your view of Father? Is there heartbreak behind the association? Can you apply this term to God? Should you? Why or why not?

Prayer

Dear God, I want to believe You like me, love me, and delight in me. I want to believe You like it when I come around. May I begin using the term Father in reference to You so that we might work together to deepen my trust in You.

And, God, this changing of my perception of Father — I can’t help but think it must involve forgiveness of my own father. This is a process, too. Help me to see him as You see him. Amen.