Feeling wrong

Dear God, this is Kelley.

Kids take in all that is around them. This is one reason why they learn at such awesome speed! When negative things are said and done to a child, that negativity, therefore, lands in full force. It is jarring. It is disruptive. It informs the child that something is wrong. And because children are naturally self-centered, the child will conclude the wrong is within them.

Kids who grow up in chronically abusive homes grow into adults who feel wrong at our very core. We can be defensive, angry, hurt easily. We will seek ways to not feel wrong — through numbing our feelings, bullying others physically or verbally, making ourselves physically strong, giving of ourselves in far too extensive ways. The list goes on and on.

Help us, God, to identify the ways we seek to not feel wrong, to avoid feeling like we’re not enough, to distance ourselves from any possibility of feeling that devastating impact again.

We can choose to do the work to stop this. We can choose to be around people who are safe. We can choose to peel this negativity off!

Reflection

We all deserve the chance to let the part of us that was so wounded heal and see the world — and ourselves! — in the light of truth! Describe this part of you.

Prayer

Dear God, help us to see ourselves clear of all this defensive, negative, and shaming stuff! Help us to free ourselves from it. Who are we? How happy, playful, insightful, funny, precious are we? We deserve to discover this part of us, and those we live with deserve to discover it too. May we put Your grace to use, Lord. We may not know how, but You do. Amen.

(See Resources.)

We don't have to keep feeling wrong.