Grace to change

Dear God, this is Kelley.

Chronic abuse hangs on tight. It impacts perceptions. It forms attitudes we take with us into adulthood. I’m grateful You shine a spotlight on these, and You supply the grace for us to change. It isn’t easy, but it’s possible. We deserve to change, and we must, not only for ourselves but for those around us.

Pain and fear made me suspicious of others’ intents. As I grew, this morphed into a critical judgment, an anger, a harsh superiority (masking a terrified insecurity). You used this to help me see my abusers’ behavior as wrong. Indeed, I was superior to it! This helped me then. It does not help now.

Such an attitude manifests in various ways. I try my best to hide it. I doubt others. I condescend. I suspect. I push away. There is so much baggage I step around when I meet others! There is no telling what face of mine they will see, given the baggage I’m tripping over in that particular moment!

Oh, God, help me to keep working with You to heal. It’s exhausting, yes, but worth the effort.

Reflection

What perception is God asking you to work with Them to change?

Prayer

Dear God, chronic abuse is never “over.” We must wade through its consequences. No one knows these consequences, these disabilities, better than You. May we follow You, trust You, and use Your grace to become the people You empower us to become. Amen.