Why must you want God?

I’ve been trying to push people toward God my whole life. Why?

Moses described it as a burning bush, on fire but not consumed. Paul described it as a blinding light. Julian of Norwich described it as a voice and a presence that waylaid her frail body and imprinted upon her truths that would grow into words in years to come. It was that truth that did something to her, inside her, and she, like so many before her, had to tell.

I have to tell.

Am I a Moses, a Paul, a Julian? Yes! And so are you! Each of us is called to come near, to seek, and to find God.

I understand the burning bush, for my experience of God makes my heart burn. I understand the blinding light, for my experience of God overwhelms the light emitted from any other source of enlightenment or joy. I describe it by what God does within me. It is — and here words struggle — an attraction so intense it stirs parts of me into life, parts I was not even aware were there! It is as if I’ve stumbled into a place that causes every part of me to light up. It is a place that dispenses truths in the blink of an eye, an experience that connects all things, however disparate.

This powerful exchange led Moses to confront Pharoah. It turned Paul completely around. It compelled Julian to write for decades, trying over and over to find words that necessarily impose limitations on something wholly without limits. And, this ongoing exchange has taken me from a bitter, angry, fear-filled, suspicious, wounded soul to one who burns with gratitude for the fascinating ways God leads us to healing and wholeness.

This is why you must want God.

Reflection

Can it be that your desire to heal, to understand, to move toward wholeness originates in the presence of God within you? What are the implications of this?

Prayer

Dear God, it would be much easier if I, too, came upon a burning bush or a blinding light. Then, I could believe! It’s not fair that I have to try so hard to believe in You, to find You, to keep hold of You, especially when I hurt and see so many others hurt. Sustain me in my search. I want to heal. Amen.